question
asked an interesting question last week.
"If youth ministry is based on relationship and your relationships with the young people are good, is there ever a good time to leave?"
What do you think?
reluctant souls
WAS...a blog collective and community
10 Comments:
Tricky one!
First thought: Perhaps also Bob Mayo's narrative model might help with our leaving? We don't relate, we share our stories. Hmmm...
I had a discussion with one of my young people about this just before Christmas because I have a five year contract (quite long for youth ministry really!) and he wanted me to renew at the end of five years but I'm fairly sure I won't.
He said, "What? so you'll just GO?"
I tried to appease him by saying he could sty in touch by email etc. but it sounded VERY lame.
Do you think clergy face this problem too? I don't know as I've had experience of some clergy who deliberatley DON'T grow relationships within the parish.
I know we grow relationships with our young people but surely our job is also to enable our team to grow relationships with them. A youth ministry which fell down completely in the absence of the youth minister isn't a great one. Perhaps THAT is the question we need to address; is our youth ministry OUR INDIVIDUAL ministry or is it shared?
In the excellent "Four view of youth ministry and the Church" Mark Senter's view is that the relationship should change as the youth ministry becomes a church in its own right. He is suggesting the relationship needs to change and not be "cut" when the youthworkers moves on or the young person "graduates" to "adult church".
Interesting question, and I think one that will vary for each person and each situation, I used to know a youth worker who spent over 12 years in post and I think that was great, personally I spent 5 years in my last post and didn’t feel it was time to leave (the vicar had different ideas but that’s a whole other story) In my current post I’m now half way through a 3 year contract, I don’t know what is going to happen I don’t know if there will be money for me to stay, but I do know the church has a great youth work team and could continue without me, I think we can only go by what we feel the Lord is saying to us, we will know if the time is right to move on maybe because we feel we need a new challenge, maybe because it’s actually a practical time to leave as the largest part of our group is also moving on, but if we can still see things that a youth worker can do and we feel like we could be the youth worker to do them then it’s perhaps not the right time. I don’t think it is an issue that can really have a yes or no answer as it will depend on so many factors, sometimes it might be an easy question, but other times it could be really difficult as well. Wee there we go a lot of stuff but no answer, maybe I should go into politics?
is there ever a good time to leave?
Yes!
Anonymous...
I hope that isn't referring to a "good time to leave" disaster...
It's a good time to leave when you finally can't take it anymore...
It's a good time to leave when the vicar suggests you resign because "it would make things much easier"...
Could you elaborate?
No... it hurt too much
No, it is never a "good" time to leave. It might be the right time, but that is not the same thing. Having "left" recently, after 7 years . . . . it was right (the volunteers and part timers who worked with me are now flying and doing a better job than I did!), but it didn't feel good - if we create authentic community with young people then it isn't about the job, salary, location, personality clash with the vicar . . . it is heart wrenching to move. Of course, if you haven't built anything meaningful (to you or the young people) and you have "done your three years" and you are off to do another three years somewhere else (you aren't fussed where, you just get itchy feet round about now), then for the sake of the young people - MOVE!
is there ever a good time to leave?
well, you could answer that by asking if there was ever a good time to start?
if you were to explain to a young person that you felt you had started in the job because you felt called by God/church leaders felt it was 'right' to appoint you, then could you not explain that it is that same 'feeling called by God'/'right feeling' that makes you think it is right to move on now.
look back at all the good stuff that happened as a result of that initial call/feeling, and just imagine what more good stuff could happen in the future...what else might God have in store.....
just a thought. i apoligse if not v well thoguht through....
or very carefully checked for typos
It's a good time to leave when your husband moves to the other end of the country.
And that's conclusive!!
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